VI. PATHS TOWARD INTEGRATION

As you have seen from the preceding pages, your birth horoscope offers a detailed and in-depth portrait of many aspects of your life. It is also possible to step further back from the horoscope, and to use the faculties of a telescope rather than a microscope - so that an overview of the play comes into focus. The following provide also some suggestions of ways in which conscious effort might make it possible for you to achieve greater harmony between the different components within yourself, and to strengthen that centre of the personality which psychology calls the ego, the "I". Free will may not include the possibility of becoming somebody else. But it might include the ability to stand firmly at the centre of your horoscope and feel related to the different aspects of your psyche, rather than wandering about blindly, feeling impotent and victimised by conflicting cross-currents and impulses from within yourself and from the world outside. Two people may have certain astrological configurations which are similar, but one might be buffeted by his or her inner demons like a rudderless small boat tossed on a difficult sea; while the other individual remains somehow solid and real as a person and can therefore navigate the boat intelligently through the ocean's changing currents.

Contributing to human development

You will never find real fulfilment serving only yourself. The knowledge that you have contributed something to society and to the development of human consciousness is essential to your feeling that your life has some deeper purpose. Although you may have any number of interesting hobbies, companions and interests that bring you happiness, it is particularly in relation to the work you choose that you need to look beyond merely personal concerns and select a vocation which also benefits others in some way - especially in the realm of mental development. Because ideas and their power to promote change interest you, you might look within the spheres of education, sociology, group work, psychology or esoteric subjects for themes which might strike a spark in you.

Your natural liking for people, your interest in intellectual, spiritual and social movements which might better the world around you, and your deep belief in the essential value of the human spirit, will support you in your efforts to find the right field of endeavour in which you can make some contribution to the larger group.

The more energy you put into work which encompasses a broader connection with the welfare of human beings as a group, the stronger your connection will grow with a sense of meaning and true self-esteem; for you have something special to offer others, and you need to believe in your own dreams. If you are caught in a narrow field of work and find yourself bored and restless, try to expand your life, even if it means taking a gamble with material security for a while. You have nothing to lose but your frustration.

The importance of roots and origins

There is one area of your life where any effort to gain insight into your own feelings will always result in an increased feeling of strength and self-respect; for this is the domain of both your greatest vulnerability and, paradoxically, your greatest potential strength. It is the unhappiness of your childhood which you need to explore, for the loneliness and feelings of rejection which you experienced at an early age - although perhaps not due to anyone's deliberate hurtfulness - have left you insecure, oversensitive and unsure of the trustworthiness of others. If you hide from these early experiences, you will always inadvertently back off from others, masking your real feelings and erecting defenses to protect yourself from imagined future rejections. But if you can face what lay at the beginning of your life with insight and compassion for everyone concerned, including yourself, you will, in effect, dispel the power of a ghost - and the inner strength and understanding you gain will then always be available for any challenge life might bring.

Thus one of your great fears - of being rejected, hurt and humiliated through your emotional needs can become the indestructible base on which you can build a truly authentic, original contribution to offer others. For you will have learned through disappointment as well as success that need of others is a strength rather than a weakness, and that your vulnerability makes you human and therefore believable. And no grand vision for humanity can have any effect without an honest emotional relationship to the individuals who comprise that humanity.